I wonder…

I wonder if she knew,

When she was 5

Laughing so hard she thought her sides may split.

While he danced around her with joyful innocence.

With his hands reaching out to her,

Love bursting through his chest,

So strong, it was almost tearing them apart at the seams.

I wonder back then if she knew what she knows now.

I wonder when it started,

When he stopped looking at her with adoring eyes,

When he ceased to act like a fool

Just so he could hear the magic that was her happiness.

When society pushed her down

Why he no longer felt compelled to reach out to her with his small hands.

To help lift her,

To have her stand beside him with pride in his eyes as she took the world by storm.

And I wonder how it happened.

That her peers began to judge her,

Without a knowing of her soul,

Without realizing the sparkle that took home in her eyes,

The magnificence that she was.

When her body became slanderous,

Her presence insignificant,

Her knowledge inferior.

I despair to wonder when it happened,

That she began to believe it too

That the worlds vision of her supporting role ripped away with it her fight,

Drowned her fire,

Leaving behind a broken spirit that lay dampened on the ground.

Why did no one fight for her?

Why didn’t he fight for her?

That little boy with the goofy smile who knew no different,

The little boy who stood by her side, making big promises to love her forever,

Before growing up tore them apart,

Settling them into the misogynistic roles that awaited them.

Sometimes I wonder if she knew,

That all along she didn’t stand a chance

That she would be beaten down,

Misinterpreted, mistreated, and underappreciated.

I wonder if she knew when she was 5,

that that was her fate

As she played naively with the boy who hadn’t yet learnt his prejudice.

Before they were exposed to the demons that we accept for normalcy.

But most of all I think I wonder about him.

If he knew,

If he cared, questioned, or tried to fight it.

I wonder if he even realized that the world had a plan for him, for her,

For what they would become.

And I wonder if he knows that he’s killing her, slowly,

Probably unintentionally

And that soon that light that he used to adore in her so much,

Back When he was young and free

Well it will soon fade to blackness

Just like the sparkle of many

Remarkable women before her.

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